Listen/Lyrics
I’m sorry if I broke your stupid heart/but I don’t remember that scene/no, no, no I don’t remember anything/you see memory is a funny, funny thing/I built a wall ten miles long and three miles deep and five miles tall/You can get pissed or you can get over it/get over it, get over yourself man/get over it, get over yourself/Let me clue you in to what was going on back then/yeah, that was the year I mostly forget/that was the year I was attacked in my own bed/fucked me up, fucked me up, fucked with my head/and all that year I can’t remember/I built a wall ten miles long and three miles deep and five miles tall/You can get pissed or you can get over it/get over it, get over yourself man/ get over it, get over yourself/Here I am trying to apologize and man I know I’m failin’/ ‘cause that was the year I needed my friends/and there you were trying to get into my bed/when all I wanted was my friends/and man I thought you were my friend/I built a wall ten miles long and three miles deep and five miles tall/You can get pissed or you can get over it/get over it, get over yourself man/get over it, get over yourself/You said when did we get so old jaded/I say why’s this so fucking complicated/Oh oh oh just get over it/Oh I’m soooo/I’m so fucking over it.
Some crazy fucker made the news/as an archetypal caricature easily categorized and then excused/but what of all the crazy fuckers I deal with every day/yeah him and them and you and you and you and you/you’re all the same/Violence is your birthright and you are armed to the teeth/an arsenal of weapons/none of which are benign as you’d have me believe/and I’m long past that naive/Don’t you touch me yeah I’ll fucking end you/Don’t come near me yeah I’ll fucking end you too/Don’t you look at me I’ll fucking end you too/I’m thinking thinking thinking thinking what would Valerie do/We are all capable please make no mistake/You can deny it, get defensive, or just acknowledge what’s at stake/You call me crazy, cunt, bitch for the things I say/but you know I’m all too well aware of the space that I take/and the risks that attend freedom’s demand are just part of misogynist infested waters in which I swim/Don’t you touch me yeah I’ll fucking end you/Don’t come near me yeah I’ll fucking end you too/Don’t you look at me I’ll fucking end you too/I’m thinking thinking thinking thinking what would Valerie do.
I’ve got an imagination like you wouldn’t believe/I write all my own screenplays to all my pending personal tragedies/if I get a little notion I’ll set them all in motion with precision and skill/oh if certainty were a weapon mine would certainly be set to kill/It’s just my stupid head believing again/You could be better than your worst days/better than my worst memory/You are caught up in the crossfire of my ego and my ire/while I am steadfast at the confluence of terror and desire/this place birthed me, made me, then betrayed me/oh in this town my past is an anchor that pulls me down/and the little fishies feel nothing as I drown/It’s just my stupid heart with its stalwart ramparts/it’s just my stupid head believing again/we could be better than our worst days/better than our worst memories/I’d like take you home with me and prove all of this wrong/but would I be so bold, or so brave if I weren’t hiding in this song/I want you tie me up, want you tie me down/want you to take me for a ride/could you lay to waste the feeling I’m never safe/come on it’s buried deep, deep down inside/It’s just my stupid heart with its stalwart ramparts/it’s just my stupid head believing again/you could be better than my worst day/better than my worst memory.
I don’t wanna be your ball and chain/I don’t wanna feel that weight again/no and if I would have known/I would have run like hell/oh well/I’m ruled by emotion and by fear/I may act tough but it’s an awfully thin veneer/I invited you here my dear/I’d run a tight ship but my heart’s a mutineer/I set sail with such certainty and still I end up here/and if I would have known/I would have run like hell/oh well/I could see this coming like remembering a dream/premonition or manifestation they’re all the same to me/oh and if I would have known/I would have run like hell/oh well/I’ve been writing this song since the day we met/it’d be funny if it wasn’t true/I don’t wanna be your ball and chain/I don’t wanna feel that weight again, no/and if I would have known/I would have run like hell/no no no if I would have known/I still would have invited you here my dear.
Call me when you’re wasted, call me when you’re sad/Call me when you’re heart sick, heart sick, heart sick and feeling bad/Call me when you’re deep down, call me when it’s dark/Call me when it’s heavy, heavy, oh heavy on your tragic heart/I’ll be your band-aid interim, quick fix overnight, blood bag medicine, makeshift make do, make it alright girl/‘cause you’re a vampire/you suck/Call me when you’re lonely, call me when you’re scared/Call me like you need me, need me, yeah need me like you care/Call me when you’ve been had, call me when you’re high/Call me when you’re outraged, outraged, outraged and you’ve been cryin’/I’ll be your band-aid interim, quick fix overnight, blood bag medicine, makeshift make do, make it alright girl/‘cause you’re a vampire/you suck/Call me when you’re paranoid, call me when you’re sick/Call me when your guilt is, guilt is, guilt is piled on thick/Call me when you’re fearful, call me when you’re sore/Call me when you’re vengeful, vengeful, vengeful and feeling bored/I’ll be your band-aid interim, quick fix overnight, blood bag medicine, makeshift make do, make it alright girl/‘cause you’re a vampire/you suck.
You can take our pictures out the window of your unmarked van/and put them in a file downtown just because you can you can you can/You can flex those muscles under all that fancy gear/you’re only taking orders I hear/is that supposed to make me feel better/well it don’t/I’m a volcano/Here in the warmth of waning summer yeah who are we/are we just an angry mob are we just bored kids bored kids/with nothing better to do/are we gonna grow up someday to be just like you/no way no way no way yeah no way/I’m a volcano/I’m not giving up/we’re not giving in/even though you wish it were so.
I’m mad at you mad at you mad/It doesn’t do me a damn bit of good/you know I wish I could behave just like they say I should but/I’m mad at you mad at you mad/I get angry, I get deep down deep down sore/but you know I never never never fucking learn/I’m mad at you mad at you mad/and I try to hide out far, oh far from you/I’m under covers up in your bedroom and/I’m mad at you mad at you mad/They say won’t you cut her a little bit of slack/don’t be so cold you know that she has got your back, but/I’m mad at you mad at you mad/I’m mad.
Here I am collecting anchors/tethered to the places I most fear/and this feeling is akin to drowning/and I don’t know if I want out of here but i’ve got to get out of here/Nobody nobody ever asked me, nobody nobody ever did, oh oh no nobody nobody ever asked me if I could open up wide, open up wide and feel like this/I don’t want to feel like this/Your voice inside my head it’s pounding/I can’t seem to think of anyone but you/I’ve grown accustomed to being alone in my head/but I’d rather be in there with you/Nobody nobody ever asked me, nobody nobody ever did, oh oh no nobody nobody ever asked me if I could open up wide, open up wide and feel like this/I don’t want to feel like this/’cause every time you’re getting too close/you’re too close/oh there i go there I go I push you away/I’d offer up to you this heart dear/if it also wasn’t screaming no fucking way/don’t you come near me, I’m so far from ok/I am so far from ok/Nobody nobody ever asked me, nobody nobody ever did, oh oh no nobody nobody ever asked me if I could open up wide, open up wide and feel like this/I don’t want to feel like this/Here I am collecting anchors/tethered to the places I most fear.
Waking from sleep too scared to breathe/is this really my life or just a really bad dream/oh get off/get off of me/Hide under sheets, under my own skin/hide out far inside my mind far far away from this/oh get off/get off of me/This is where I go when I can’t meet your eyes/oh but you don’t see, no you don’t know just what it’s like/so get off/get off of me/Past the guilt, past the pain/Past those memories that reign tyrants all of them, all of them/Past these fetters, past the fears/Past the heartache of those tortured years/I’m in here somewhere I am in here/Waking from sleep too scared to breathe/is this really my life or just a really bad dream/oh get off/get off of me.
You’ve got my stomach tied in knots/You’ve got me thinking all these dirty dirty thoughts/You’ve got me down on snowy knees begging please oh please/Stop right there not another step/I’m too fucked up to deal with this/so take your pretty face far, far away/‘cause I know how today will end/and I want to stay your friend/You’ve got me thinking about you/You’ve got humming all these happy fucking tunes/You’ve got me thinking I’ve got it wrong/when we both know I am never, never, never wrong/So you stop right there not another step/I’m too fucked up to deal with this/so take your pretty face far, far away/‘cause I know how today will end/I want to stay your friend/You’ve got me trying to play it cool/You’ve got me acting a damn, damn fool/You’ve got me tied up to this murphy bed all day, all day/in my sweet, sweet daydreamy head/But you stop right there not another step/I’m too fucked up to deal with this/so take your pretty face far, far away/‘cause I know how today will end/and I want to stay your friend/You’ve got me talking way too much/You’ve got me calling my own bluff/You’ve got me thinking I could fall in love down on these snowy knees oh begging please oh please/Please get over here, please take that step/I’ll take mountains of heartache over years of regret/Get your pretty face all up in my pretty face/‘cause we can’t know how this will end/so let’s begin/oh so let’s begin/oh so let’s be brave and begin.